You’ve been on dating apps, and maybe even had a few dates. All you’re finding are guys who want sex in 5 minutes, or who are already married. Where are all the NICE guys? Are there any left?
YES, they are out there - and they’re looking for an awesome woman like YOU. But how do you find them?
The definition of insanity is repeating the same behavior over and over, but expecting a different result. Let’s try something different and see what happens! Here’s how.
Self-talk What are you telling yourself? Does the little devil on your shoulder whisper, “You’ll never find a nice guy,” “You’re too old to find someone,” or, “I’m not [insert trait here] enough?” Let me ask you this: What would you tell a beloved friend if they were sad because they didn’t have a guy in their life? Would you use those words, or say something kind and encouraging? Speak to yourself the same way you’d speak to someone you care about. Yes, you will find guys who aren’t right - but instead of feeling like dating is worthless, remind yourself that you’re just not looking at the right people. Which leads us to #2…
What’s your mindset? Maybe you’re a love chameleon - so desperate to have someone in your life that you’ll change your values and belief system to please someone (this is a huge part of a codependent relationship, by the way). Or maybe you’re the desperate hunter type, who will take anyone, no matter what baggage they come with or how bad a fit they are, just so they don’t have to feel lonely. Start noticing the positives in your life. Ask yourself, "What is something good about right now?" even if it's only that you're surviving a crappy day. Define your value system, live by it, and don’t compromise with the morals and values you find important. When someone comes along that isn’t a good fit, don’t feel bad about letting them go. You don’t want to send out vibes that actually attract psychic vampires, losers, married guys, and sex fiends. Which leads us to #3...
The New Car Factor When you get a new car, suddenly you notice all the other ones just like it that you never noticed before. In the same way, after you change your mindset to one of self-confidence, positivity, and gratitude, others with those traits will feel more familiar to you - and you’ll be attracted to them instead of the losers. This works both ways - the “nice guys” out there will find your attitude familiar, and be attracted to you, too! When we’re aggravated, desperate, or disgusted, we’re going to find guys who will either take advantage of us or be codependent, because that’s the energy we’re sending out. Which leads us to # 4...
Live your life as though you don’t care about finding a partner. Find all the great stuff in your life that’s already there. What are your hobbies? What do you love to do for fun? If you don’t have a date for Saturday night, grab a bowl of popcorn and a bottle of wine and throw on your favorite movie, or take yourself out on a date! Find the amazement and fun in all the stuff you already have in your life. When you do this, you’ll be sending out energy that shows how happy and fun you are - and you’ll attract partners who are also happy and fun.
These are just a few things you can do to find a nice guy. There is so much more you can do! Read my article on Life Mantras for Love, Romance, and Happiness. (Yes, mantras. You gotta read this, it’s very cool!) You can find it here:
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